Ang Goes Public

best scene ever.

(via brucebannerr)

first month of marathon training complete.  bring on the next 600 miles of training…

not this girl.

needless to say, i picked.

right under my nose.  it’s big, it’s red.

just what i need when i’m already sad and feeling crappy.

just lovely.

that’s right.  it’s not hormonal.  it’s not oil, grease, or anything else than can be solved with salicylic acid, benzoyl peroxide, retin-a, clindamycin, etc. it’s me. 

this weekend, i noticed a slight spot on my forehead.  and by “spot” i mean something only i could see from an approximate distance of one inch from the mirror.  it was flesh colored, it was probably about the size of a pen point, and looked like it may just be a clogged pore that would naturally come to the surface and wash off. 

i was doing so well.  the whole day yesterday i didn’t touch it (even though i thought about it almost constantly). 

anywho, i end up video-chatting with my boyfriend around 11pm.  it started to get late so i went to wash my face.  i told him what i was going to do and said i’d be right back.

not even knowing that my boyfriend would be able to see my skin within seconds of my leaving the bathroom could stop my fingers.  just one little squeeze, i promised!  it should come out so nicely!

well, it didn’t.

but i was able to stop after only a few seconds of squeezing.  and today it’s not huge and inflamed… but i did turn something that was practically nothing into something that looks like a legit pimple.

goal: not to create a wound.  it’s going to be simple to heal a little pinkness and slight inflammation.  it’s also extremely easy to cover with makeup.  you know what doesn’t cover with makeup, ang? an open wound.

i.will.stay.away.

too much of a champion to pick.

nylota asked: Hi. I'm Saribel. I'm a picker from NYC and I'm trying to quit on my own. Just know that you're not alone and you'll make it. I'm sure you will.

i’m so glad you found me!  i’ve been looking for a picker in nyc for what feels like forever!

i’ve been feeling so down lately while my face is healing.. especially since it’s been so nice out and all i want to do is be outside.. but i’m embarrassed by my healing skin.

it’ll get there.  i know it will heal. 

my problem is not creating new spots that will then take more weeks to heal. 

good luck.  you can quit.  i can quit.

this is our summer :)

iwanttostoppicking:

It’s true. He hasn’t dumped me because of my dermatillomania. He understands that it’s a disorder that I unfortunately have to face. “I understand that this is a part of you, and I will help you get through it, because I love you,” he said.

“But it worries me when you pick. When I’m not with you, I’m afraid of what you might be doing in front of the bathroom mirror…it worries me.”

I don’t want to make him worry. So I won’t pick tonight.

Or ever.

mine too.  me too.